GirlTalk

Important Health Info for Women…

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.  You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.


Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.


Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.


Side effects may include:
Ø  Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
Ø  Erotic lustfulness
Ø  Loss of motor control
Ø  Loss of clothing
Ø  Loss of money
Ø  Loss of virginity
Ø  Loss of bladder control
Ø  Attraction to ugly men
Ø  Table dancing
Ø  Headache
Ø  Dehydration
Ø  Dry mouth
Ø  And a desire to sing Karaoke


WARNING:
*The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
*The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
*The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
*The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
NOTE: Margaritas are also available in generic form, known as tequila.  Just as effective and costs only a fraction

Way to go Val!!!!

Valerie Bertinelli Back in Bikini for 49th Birthday!

The night before Valerie Bertinelli prepared to step out in public wearing a bikini – for the first time in nearly 30 years! – she found herself unable to sleep. As her mind raced with insecurity ("I thought, Am I really going to do this? Can I pull this off?" the actress admits), Bertinelli tried to summon up a pep talk, telling herself, "What am I so afraid of? Come on – it's just a bathing suit!"

Read the entire article in People Magazine…

Source:  People Online

Does your eyeshadow bleed into your creases?

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Mine does, I find myself using a q-tip to smooth it out thru the day, and it’s a pain.  Yes, I use a base and it STILL does it.

But I was on a forum the other night and they said that if you use MAC Paint as a base, then put shadow over it, it won’t crease.

Well, thanks to Lindsay, who had bought me a tube of MAC Paint in a neutral color, which I always used as shadow alone, I tried it.Used the paint as a base with the shadow over it. And.... guess what, it works!  No creasing at all.  It’s a good thing…

You have to admit, she’s cute…

Nicole: Vision in White | Nicole RichieI like Nicole Richie, I don’t find her annoying like last year’s news, Paris Hilton.  She’s shown here wearing jewelry from her new line.  And she’s preggo again.

Your daily giggle…

ISN'T THIS THE TRUTH ??????
You may need to stop at the women's restroom . . . be prepared!
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn , you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered sea t because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

What celebs order at Starbucks…

 

Here's the lobritwdown on the pick-me-ups of the luxe and famous -- from our friends at Celebrity Starbucks and Starbucks Gossip.

The Vanillas:
Britney Spears -- Vanilla Frappuccino
Hayden Panettiere -- Vanilla Grande Non-Fat Chai
Mary Kate Olsen -- Vanilla Venti Sugar-Free Non-Fat Frappuccino
Paula Abdul -- Vanilla Soy Chai

The Lactose Intolerants:
Heidi Klum -- Soy Latte
Shakira -- Soy Latte (Extra Hot!)
Reese Witherspoon -- Grande Almond Soy Latte (Strong, please!)
Katie Holmes -- Half Caf Grande Soy Latte

Fancy Pants:
Dita Von Teese -- Gingerbread Latte with Whipped Cream
Ashton Kutcher -- Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato
Renée Zellwegger -- Venti Blueberry & Cream Frappuccino
Derek Jeter -- Venti Java Chip Frappuccino

The Skinnies:
Tyra Banks -- Non-Fat Latte
Nicole Kidman -- Triple Grande Skim Wet Cappuccino
Michelle Pfeiffer -- Grande Non-Fat Latte
Bill Cosby -- Triple Non-Fat Extra Hot No Foam Latte

Drinkin' It Old School:
Ben Affleck -- Tall Iced Americano
Dax Shepard -- Tall Black Drip Coffee
Kirsten Dunst -- Tall Drip Coffee
Elijah Wood -- Venti Iced Espresso (4 shots)

Tea Totalers:
Lindsay Lohan -- Grande Iced Tazo Green Tea
Rumer Willis -- Grande Iced Tazo Green Tea
Bruce Willis -- Chai
Steven Speilberg -- Chai

The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos--MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT." He didn't seem angry in the least. (Whew, I got away with that one!) Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'oh, crap.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.